'Riverdale' Theory: Is Alice Cooper Hiding a Dark Past (and Another Child)?
'Riverdale' Theory: Is Alice Cooper Hiding a Dark Past (and Another Child)?
Vanessa Frith
Vanessa Frith
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
Iron-willed in her search for perfection, Alice Cooper is the last person Riverdale fans would suspect of harboring a dark past. And yet, here we are -- wondering if the journalist's insane attempt to be a beacon of suburban tranquility is fueled by a youth mired in Southside drama.

So, how did we get here? Pushed by circumstance, Mrs. Cooper (Madchen Amick) has revealed a little more about her teenage years than she would like. From a childhood on the Southside and a possible connection to FP's (Skeet Ulrich) Serpents to a potential abortion, Riverdale is laying the groundwork for a massive reveal (or two). But how long will fans have to wait for answers? And what will those answers be? 

"We just started the writers' room for season 2 and we've been talking about [Alice's past] a lot," EP Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa told Entertainment Weekly. "What we learn in ["The Lost Weekend"] is she's from the Southside, but stepped out of it and cleaned herself up and became the perfect [mother]. We're going to explore much more about what Alice's backstory is both in this season and in season 2."

The wait seems interminable, no? In the meantime, let's flesh out the latest theories for ourselves.

One argument that weighs heavy on our minds is the idea that Alice has a secret child roaming around. During "The Outsiders," Hal's (Lochlyn Munro) unilateral offer to pay for Polly's (Tiera Skovbye) abortion sparked a heated debate between the Cooper parents -- one that led to their current estrangement. As it turns out, Papa Cooper once tried to coerce Mama Cooper into having an abortion. But did a young Alice really go through with it? Their knock-down, drag-out domestic squabble merely inferred she had, a little piece of script writing that leads us into one of television's classic gray areas. Should we believe the implied, or is Riverdale leading us down the garden path?

Let's say Alice bailed on her abortion appointment -- how did she keep her continued pregnancy a secret from Hal and the rest of a busybody small town? Perhaps Polly landed at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy thanks to a family discount. But if Alice had the baby, who could it be? She/he would have to be older than Polly, which means they won't have a spot in Riverdale High's 2017 yearbook. 

Or would they? A certain mysterious music teacher springs to mind, does she not? Miss Grundy's (Sarah Habel) age and origins remain a mystery, which means she could easily be party to a secret adoption. After all, we're certain we haven't seen the last of RHS's notorious predator. 

Meanwhile, FP has left us to wonder if Alice has more in common with "Teenage Lament '74" than her neighbors know. 

"You may not live on the Southside anymore, you may not dress like you're from the Southside, but we both know the truth: Snakes don't shed their skin so easily," FP cautioned as leather and pastels clashed north of the tracks during "The Lost Weekend."

Can you imagine Alice on the wrong side of the tracks, shooting the breeze with the criminal class? It's as if Grease's Sandy upped her ante and strolled straight into the most notorious biker bar around. Granted, Sandra Dee never daydreamed of putting a bullet into Rydell's football captain. I, for one, can't wait to see just how dark Mrs. Cooper's story will go. 

Have your own theory? Sound off in the comments below!

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(Image courtesy of The CW)